I don’t see it but I can feel it

I‘ve been obsessed with the scale lately and it’s getting on my nerves. So I decided to give it a break for a couple of weeks. You see, I have been doing my best with my food intake and I have been looking at the numbers slowly but surely go down on the scale. It’s exciting to know that what I am doing is working but… I just don’t see it. I look at my face and I don’t see the slimming. I look in the mirror, same body. I put on my clothes, same size. ok. Maybe not as tight but same size. I’m not saying that I’m not happy about it but I just can’t see if when I look in the mirror. I totally understand why people get discouraged when you think you’re working and one of you factors is not matching up to the other (scale+clothes+belly+…)
Even after all of this, I’m ok with it because the way I feel. I feel simply fantastic. I feel lighter. I don’t see it but my knees feel it. They don’t hurt when I stand for too long. My walks to the train station has shortened (by a whole min! – and yes I time myself). I just feel lighter and just better. I like this feeling. I still have my rolls but that’s not the only thing I see when I am looking at myself in the mirror. In some aspects, I have already reached one of my goals which was to just feel better. I’m petite by technical standards (5’3″) and I have size 6 feet. I felt like to keep going the way I was would just not work out for me. And I was longing for a day where a 15 mins walk was no longer a big deal and if I ran to catch the train, I wouldn’t feel like I was dying. I have achieved that goal and I’m excited. For that reason, I’m giving my scale up for a month so that I can enjoy that awesome feeling I have of actually enjoying my present body, enjoying feeling lighter on my feet. Here’s to victories!

What’s important to you?

I found this little nugget on tumblr and saved it to my phone so that I could talk to myself from time to time. I give great pepe talks! Absolutely, ask any of my friends. But when it comes to myself, sometimes I wonder if I just like the sound of my own voice. Not in everything thank God. Just on things that I feel that I have gotten comfortable in without realizing. It’s one thing to see your weight go up on the scale, to see your size changing (say it with me, waist expansion) and brush it off. It’s another to talk about doing the work and just come home ans lay down. So I decided to do a personal inspection and see exactly what’s going on with me.
What exactly is important to me? Honestly, my health is very important to me. Really my health. I work in a hospital and even if it’s in the IT department, you can’t help seeing what’s happening around. As a matter of fact, just building the software for the hostpital, you are introduced to terminlaogy that you never knew existed. Frankly it’s pretty scary and sometimes keeps me up at night. I figure if I’m not at my best, I can take care of anything else. I have money problems. If I can’t go to work I can’t fix that. I have a daughter with too much energy for tired little me. If I can’t jump up and down or run around after her, she’ll slowly become a slob and that’s all on me. Therefore, if it’s important to me, let me take care of it. If I can make sure my daughter has a ready lunch box every day when she goes to school. I can take the time and do the same for me and ensure I have some good stuff in there. Why not start there? I have to work, I have to eat. Instead of spending $10 for lunch (Boston is no joke), I can work on carving out a little time to make sure I get some good stuff in my body.
Lunchbox prep is the word here. Let’s do it.