This summer…

…is officially over. But I like to reflect back and say that it was a wonderful summer for my self-esteem. My friends and family have been fantastic with the compliments. My wardrobe was altered slightly: something about feeling good about yourself makes you want to look at bit sexier then you were. And it was wonderful. So wonderful that I stopped trying and my goal has been out of sight. The drinks and food have been flowing. And somehow I am losing sight of the goal that I wanted to reach. And now fall is here. And hibernation is inevitable. And baking season is here. Oh boy oh boy.
Should I just chuck it up and just wait for January 1st to start a new resolution? My decision? No. I have a goal and I want to reach it. I have nothing to stop me. Except myself. I have been my biggest obstacle in the past 2 months. My travelling is over. No more “vacation diet”. You know the “I’m on a vacation and I will get back on track when I get back.” No more of that. So go me go.

I don’t see it but I can feel it

I‘ve been obsessed with the scale lately and it’s getting on my nerves. So I decided to give it a break for a couple of weeks. You see, I have been doing my best with my food intake and I have been looking at the numbers slowly but surely go down on the scale. It’s exciting to know that what I am doing is working but… I just don’t see it. I look at my face and I don’t see the slimming. I look in the mirror, same body. I put on my clothes, same size. ok. Maybe not as tight but same size. I’m not saying that I’m not happy about it but I just can’t see if when I look in the mirror. I totally understand why people get discouraged when you think you’re working and one of you factors is not matching up to the other (scale+clothes+belly+…)
Even after all of this, I’m ok with it because the way I feel. I feel simply fantastic. I feel lighter. I don’t see it but my knees feel it. They don’t hurt when I stand for too long. My walks to the train station has shortened (by a whole min! – and yes I time myself). I just feel lighter and just better. I like this feeling. I still have my rolls but that’s not the only thing I see when I am looking at myself in the mirror. In some aspects, I have already reached one of my goals which was to just feel better. I’m petite by technical standards (5’3″) and I have size 6 feet. I felt like to keep going the way I was would just not work out for me. And I was longing for a day where a 15 mins walk was no longer a big deal and if I ran to catch the train, I wouldn’t feel like I was dying. I have achieved that goal and I’m excited. For that reason, I’m giving my scale up for a month so that I can enjoy that awesome feeling I have of actually enjoying my present body, enjoying feeling lighter on my feet. Here’s to victories!

I’ve had some success so far….

I‘ve decided to track everything I ate since I started to take my journey seriously. I’ve read and heard all the advice and the first step is usually “write down what you eat”. So that’s what I did. I started tracking everything. My goal was simple to track. Whatever it is I was eating. I bought a journal, and an app. But since my phone is attached to my hip, I basically ditched the journal (it was hard, I love pretty journals) and just kept up with my app. My goal initially was to just be honest with myself, just honest. No depriving, not controlling, just “seeing” what goes in my body. I use a handy dandy little app called Lose It! and have been a dedicated user. I don’t believe it’s the best out there in terms of database honestly, because sometimes I would to go google for some food and the other competitor sites would the items but not this one. But since I already had it on my phone, I just supplemented. I mean when you are in a relationship, you have your partner that is not without fault. You look around and other people might have qualities that you like and you think they’re missing. You don’t just dump or leave them, you do your best to encourage or add some of the missing ingredients, I mean, qualities. You leave the core as it is since that’s what attracted you in the first place. And you of course appreciate the good stuff. One of the features I love about this app are the Challenges. I totally get a kick out of finishing some of them and earning badges. So cool! Fake rewards? Yes!
And like “they” predicted, the more I started to track, the more I saw what I was eating, the more I started to cut back, started to substitute. According to the picture, I think I might be on the right track. Not bad Dee, not bad at all…

I have not been exercising

 You read right. I’m not lifting, not running, not cycling, the only walking I’m doing is walking casually from the train station to my job and like a maniac back to catch my ride back to my car. And when I get home, I’m so tired all I want to do is take a nap. But since I’m a mommy, I actually have to do some work when I get home.
Now if you’re reading this and thinking well then, she is not serious about that weight loss! No way. Diet and exercise are the key ingredients to a succesful weight loss! I know I know. And I am very well aware of this but here is my tale.
Last year was a crazy start. I was working out three times a week at least. Picking up Minnie Me, dropping her off at the wonderful babysitting and heading off to zumba, kick boxing, the occasional spinning and my favorite body pump. Loved it every time and saw absolutely no results. I look the same, felt the same and my scale showed the exact same number. No matter what I did and how I motivated myself, I was still looking in the mirror and seeing the same image. I didn’t get it. So when our budget got tight, what was the first thing to go? The gym. My pocket got somewhat alleviated but what my weight….skyrocked. And here I am now. What happened there?
I figured it out. I was eating like crap. Not like crap but basically anything I wanted. I mean I work out almost every day so I can eat anything I want. I mean there’s a balance there right? Wrong! See, the type of food you ingest really do affect how you feel and how your body processes. I read that all the time, seen it everywhere but really could care less because I figured I’m putting the gym time in then my success is inevitable. So this time around, I decided to do something else. I decided to attack from the other end of the spectrum. I decided to take care of what I eat. I’m not depriving myself by any means because I know I will fall back into crazy habits and ridiculous eating binges when I’ve starved myself for days. No. I am remastering my palette. I am making some conscious decisions, making some substitutions here and there. Instead of rice, maybe some veggies. Instead of bread with the soup, maybe just soup. That sort of thing. And when I want pizza, damn it I have pizza. I just don’t have four slices of pizza, with seven wings, fries and wash things down with a soda. I think I might call this new lifestyle “restraint”.

Hello again world

If I count how many times I said I’m on a diet in this blog, I would crawl under my covers and cry some fat tears. I came back to the blog and read the last post and I felt really inspired. I should really start following my own advice. This I talked about two years ago. I did not make it happen. Matter of fact, I am heavier now than I ever was before. I am pregnancy weight without a baby. Isn’t that a shame? But my determination for that dream has become stronger than ever. Because I want to be healthy, I want to walk up stairs without having to catch my breath for thirty minutes, I want to wear my heels without feeling knee pains later on, I want to look at my body in the mirror and not feel like a failure (I really don’t like the rolls on my back – I’m not kidding). So here’s to me on this beautiful journey. Let’s pick up where I left off. This blog will probably have some new stories in there because my mind has been very active and I really feel like writing. Here’s to me. This blog is going to be just about me. The very busy Dee…

You can make any dream come true

According to a family friend, Aquariuses of unbelievable optimistic person. You want to be president? Absolutely, go for it! You want to get that job? Right behind you! You want to write a book? Then start writing, I’ll read the drafts.
And there goes Pooh Bear, nodding his head away. “That’s definitely her. She doesn’t think anything is impossible.”
Let me tell you something, technically nothing is. I cannot believe that I would be so devastated over a phone when mine got stolen. Because with my little device in hand, I was able to transfer money, check where I am, what was the nearest restaurant and google whatever the heck this guy just said about Kirko Bangz. Now, let me tell you, how may people said that was impossible? Exactly! If anything this new era has taught me is that we can make anything happen. We have shuttles out in space on a regular basis! Women who are not able to carry children themselves can find gracious women that will carry them for them. So why can’t I believe that anything is possible? I mean we exist. That in itself is crazy!
So…for that reason, I want to make another dream possible. I want to be 130 lbs. I want to feel like a million bucks and look it too. I can use the having a baby excuse for so long.
Here’s the things about dreams though. What are you going to do about them?  I can’t say, I have a dream and then… nothing. That I am not optimistic about. You want to write? Write something all the time or on a regular schedule (cough -hubs – cough). You want this promotion? Talk to people, get in touch with the right people, get your grind on.  You want that job? Clean up your resume, clean up your language (cough – bro – cough) and get your grind on. You want that body? Put down that late night snack (cough- Dee – cough), stick with the plan, don’t ignore the scale and wish for the best…
So, I bought a scale and got an accountability partner. She is my cousin and after chatting up with her last weekend when she came to visit, we decided that by my next visit to NJ, I had better lost 10 pounds. Challenge accepted! Are you with me? Any tips?
By the way, I did run/walk my first 5K under 45 mins. So proud. Next year, we run all the way!