If you were in Haiti, he would have left you already

I‘m not a totally conventional woman according to my mother. When I was “allowed” to finally date and had an official boyfriend, I never dressed up unless we were going somewhere special. I got out of the gym and went to say hi. I wore regular clothes and no makeup. My theory was you need to love me in every way possible (au natural, made up, tired, etc…) I learned how to cook against my will and made a point to tell my boyfriends that I didn’t know how to cook. I never thought it was fair that I was helping my mom clean the house from top to bottom, washing clothes by hand while my brothers were just hanging out in their rooms simply because they were boys.
Fast forward many years later, my husband is the main cook in the house. He cooks, I clean. He takes out the trash, I do laundry. I think we work on striking a balance when it comes to the work around the house and in life in general. I don’t believe that if we are both working the same type of jobs and for the same amount of hours, I am expected to have food on the table every night. I never thought this was right thus I live by the rules that I believe are right. And then my mom comes to visit…..dissecting everything I do wrong of course. One of them is asking my husband what’s for dinner instead of providing it. Reminding me that my generation doesn’t know how to handle marriage and that’s why there’s so many divorces nowadays. And the coup de grâce, I am lucky I live in the US because had I stayed in Haiti, other women would have snatched my husband a long time ago because they don’t play. What does one answer to that? Absolutely nothing. Does cooking every day really “keep a husband”? Because I know some fabulous women that I observed do everything around the house and their husbands still ” strayed”. They didn’t leave their wives but always seem to have time to do someone else. Did I miss something here? Are we doomed because I failed my “training”?
I believe in love and respect. I respect my husband and I appreciate everything he does and that’s what I want him to do in return. Not just expect that his laundry is done but appreciate that it was done. I feel that when the appreciation is lacking in a marriage that’s when the real trouble start. Am  I wrong to think like that? Is that really considered a progressive or feminist thought?