Unemployment Sucks..

One of the reasons that are budget is so tight these days is because there was a job loss in my little unit since november. And let me say, it’s killing me. Oh yeah, it totally totally sucks. And please don’t start with the emergency fund, the 6 months just in case. Let me tell you something, I’ve heard it all and it sounds just like my mother’s advice. I don’t really listen until I am in a mess and I am reminded. If you ask any of my friends, I am very frugal (I’ve lived on college budget for so long), always on time and very bohemian (as in, I drove my little 1998 Toyota corolla until my brother totalled it) because flashy things don’t always appeal to me. Flash forward a couple more years, I’m married to the biggest spender (Sweet Charity anyone?), generous to a fault, live every day like is your last day, hunk of a man. And a couple more thousands dollars in debt, a couple more expensive item (including a house) later, here we are. Constant reminders to live on a tight budget, reminders that when the new job is found, the hole that we are in will need to be filled so that we can never be in this situation again. Did we have warnings? Absolutely. Did we listen? Nope. Are we going to be better? You better believe it because frustration cannot be a daily or healthy factor in any marriage.
On the other side of things, does that help with the diet? Oh yeah baby. Because we have no money, we have to do more cooking at home. We have to make sure we are packing lunches. And sometimes, sometimes, some mandatory liquid diets and fasting are in order. And sometimes, we just go forget this: buffet today! Regret tomorrow.
Finding the balance in this like my friends is crazy. Learning to listen and practice good advice is another. But this is part of our journey right? Some people know right away, some people take time, some people never learn… Which lot are you in?

Mission Out Of Bed: Complete

It took 3 nights, lots of housework, lots of courage and lots of morning coffee but I have successfully gotten baby to sleep in her own bed. This was one of the hardest things I had to do and my heart broke so many times. But… I did it. And she still likes me. Matter of fact, when I pick her up from the sitter, I get the sweetest hug and the biggest smile. And I fall in love with her all over again.

I have to say I have some experience with little Pooh but I did not expect what Minnie Me has brought into my life. Not only incredible cuteness but some unconditional love that I didn’t even know I had. And the constant amazement at the discoveries she makes, the things she learns. I added mommy to my resume. Who would have thought? Now if I can just master the kitchen like the husband or J, get Mel’s fashion sense and some new black pumps, more dreams will come true.

Today is the day!

This is the day where the hubs beats me at Words with Friends after he told me not give up even while he had a lead of 150 points. I held my head high and finished the game because like he said, I’m not a quitter. I am NOT a quitter. In fact, I think I’m pretty awesome on a good day. I just lack some focus. I try to do EVERYTHING at the same time. Someone told me that it’s a symptom of the new generation. Multitasking at all times. But here’s the thing, you do some many things, that when you stop you stop doing everything. Thus at one point in the equation, some things get left behind.  projects become unfinished. And since I can’t help multitasking when it comes to work, home, baby and marriage, I decided to take one project on at a time when it comes to me. And the first step is body. I don’t know anyone without body image issues. And specially after they had a baby. First up: C25K and only C25K. I always wanted to start running. So running I will be taking up. I have P90X, Zumba fitness, etc… But unless you have some personal discipline, nothing is going to happen. And if you add this to the number of things you’re juggling, this will be one of those things to be left behind. So let’s start with some personal effort first. Shall we?

Life is Life

I was having a discussion with my BIL’s crush and one of the usual questions that comes up got me thinking: “How is life ?” Why was I thinking ? Because with everything going on in my life, a usual answer would be: “not good”,” so so”, “maintaining”, “I can’t complain”… Why did I start thinking ? Has anybody ever responded to this question with a genuine: EASY! I don’t think anyone has ever talked about Life being easy unless they were referring to someone else. And what’s worse, you don’t even know the person, you just assume their life is easy. What was my answer ? “Life is life honey. I got issues, I got bills to take care of, I’m blessed because some people can’t do what I do or live what I live.” I never heard of someone says that life was easy because it was never meant to be that way. It was meant to be entertaining with it’s up and down, challenges, tears, fun, laughter, crazy stunts, unrealistic accomplishments. And that’s just your own! lol. Imagine that there are other lives interacting. So life ? Totally worth it.

Uncle Lou

This is not what I wanted to post about as I started writing again but it is what it is…. This morning I received a phone call to let me know that my uncle passed away. It was expected but it was still sad. After crying a bit this morning, I kept reminded myself of everything I am grateful for and can be taken away from me in a mere minutes. …
This is for you Uncle Lou, for the laughs, the speculations, for the tummy, the pick-ups, the drop-offs, the love…
Love you all…

Pretty Women

Instead of writing my 10 page paper due Friday with an accompanying code that would make me a great person in the eyes of my professor, I am currently talking to my cousin about bridesmaid dresses. I haven’t slept last night worried about the hole I dug myself into and also about my best friend who’s going through some rough time. Somehow, wedding plans are now a better escape than my usual food and depressed mode. I gave myself a pep talk this morning. And now I’m going to try to bribe my professor in giving a good grade for something I don’t deserve. How will I pull it off? We’ll just have to see. In the meantime, my final countdown  for my bridesmaid thanks to Pooh is 10. Yes I have 10 bridesmaids! Amazing for someone that wanted a small wedding and something small. In the meantime, check out the dress my cousin found on  www.bestbridesmaid.com. My mom just went off to Panama and I told her if she could get me some pearl (fake of course) sets to have them all wear. What do you think?

November is….

…. a month like no other. I’ve never seen so much drama except on this month. Seriously, I can’t wait for it to end, that way I can breathe. I havve a presentation on Friday and doing my darnest to make it through. I feel that maybe the topic that I picked wasn’t the best after all but it’s too late. I need to present it in a way that is different and I frankly can’t find my words. I also started a new diet that is making a little weaker every day. Good news is that I’m drinking a lot of water. When I say a lot, I mean a lot. My bladders is currently out of control. I can’t wait to see results. That’s all I’m counting on.
Today, I’m waitin on a decision that either going to ruin my month or make me sigh with relief. It’s a little too personal for the blog so I can’t share. But I’m sending positive energy right now because that’s all I can do.

Today is a day of prayer

My best friend needs all the prayers right now. So this is for her:
May Serenity, Strength, Peace and all Blessings find you at this time.
You will make it through. I will be right by your side in spirit and physically if you need me to be.
I love you very much.

Life Is a Gift

When we were in Florida, Pooh’s mom’s best friend showed us many pictures: when her kids were young, Pooh at birthday parties, even her wedding pictures… While doing so, she also mentioned a couple of the kids that had died, either by car accident, cancer and even asthma attack. Then she said, you know you guys should thank the Lord that you guys are still alive. I’m only speaking about this today since for some reason, the topic of death has been brushing me for the past couple of days. I’m not sure if I want to write such a gloomy post put I wanted to send this message one more time: ENJOY EVERY DAY. ENJOY EVERY LITTLE THING.

1. Pooh made me watch a documentary that scared the living hell out of me. Bu it also started to make me think about life and everything that comes with it.
2. My bro made me proof read this essay about death. And is conclusion was that let’s stop dreading the end but enjoy the journey.
3. Yesterday, my train was delayed at one of the stops when a man committed a robbery and escaped the police. The officers came aboard looking and questioning everyone. They told us to stay in our seats after informing us that the robber was armed. In that moment, I started thinking again about how anything can happen any day. Just coming from work after a long day and that’s it.
4. Today I got some sad news and it made me realize how most battles are personal. You can only watch and try to comfort but not a damn thing you say or do can really help.
5. Today, one of my students informed me that a student in school here committed suicide last Thursday.
6. I don’t really like to think about it but I feel that my uncle won’t make it to our big day next year.

I didn’t want this to be a depressing log just something to reflect. I’m starting to embrace a lot of things. I even look at my debt and think: how did I get here again? Ah the nice shoes, my nice phone, my cool outings! They were things that brought me joy so I’ll make money to pay for them. Just breathe and relax. Stay positive.

Rock the Vote

Sorry for the delay, this is an old post I never published

As I walked to the student center to meet up with one of my students, I came across a group of well dedicated students that are urging everyone to vote. What I liked about this whole campaign was the incentive: free hot dog. Oh yes! Unfortunately I am not allowed to vote in this country thus I cannot participate. Of course, I am encouraging everyone out there to go do your civil duty and vote. And who do you think I’m secretly wishing you ask? You’d be surprised with the answer. I am not impressed by anyone other than Tina Fey. And that’s all I’ll say. But I say YES to free lunch!