Unemployment Sucks..

One of the reasons that are budget is so tight these days is because there was a job loss in my little unit since november. And let me say, it’s killing me. Oh yeah, it totally totally sucks. And please don’t start with the emergency fund, the 6 months just in case. Let me tell you something, I’ve heard it all and it sounds just like my mother’s advice. I don’t really listen until I am in a mess and I am reminded. If you ask any of my friends, I am very frugal (I’ve lived on college budget for so long), always on time and very bohemian (as in, I drove my little 1998 Toyota corolla until my brother totalled it) because flashy things don’t always appeal to me. Flash forward a couple more years, I’m married to the biggest spender (Sweet Charity anyone?), generous to a fault, live every day like is your last day, hunk of a man. And a couple more thousands dollars in debt, a couple more expensive item (including a house) later, here we are. Constant reminders to live on a tight budget, reminders that when the new job is found, the hole that we are in will need to be filled so that we can never be in this situation again. Did we have warnings? Absolutely. Did we listen? Nope. Are we going to be better? You better believe it because frustration cannot be a daily or healthy factor in any marriage.
On the other side of things, does that help with the diet? Oh yeah baby. Because we have no money, we have to do more cooking at home. We have to make sure we are packing lunches. And sometimes, sometimes, some mandatory liquid diets and fasting are in order. And sometimes, we just go forget this: buffet today! Regret tomorrow.
Finding the balance in this like my friends is crazy. Learning to listen and practice good advice is another. But this is part of our journey right? Some people know right away, some people take time, some people never learn… Which lot are you in?

You can make any dream come true

According to a family friend, Aquariuses of unbelievable optimistic person. You want to be president? Absolutely, go for it! You want to get that job? Right behind you! You want to write a book? Then start writing, I’ll read the drafts.
And there goes Pooh Bear, nodding his head away. “That’s definitely her. She doesn’t think anything is impossible.”
Let me tell you something, technically nothing is. I cannot believe that I would be so devastated over a phone when mine got stolen. Because with my little device in hand, I was able to transfer money, check where I am, what was the nearest restaurant and google whatever the heck this guy just said about Kirko Bangz. Now, let me tell you, how may people said that was impossible? Exactly! If anything this new era has taught me is that we can make anything happen. We have shuttles out in space on a regular basis! Women who are not able to carry children themselves can find gracious women that will carry them for them. So why can’t I believe that anything is possible? I mean we exist. That in itself is crazy!
So…for that reason, I want to make another dream possible. I want to be 130 lbs. I want to feel like a million bucks and look it too. I can use the having a baby excuse for so long.
Here’s the things about dreams though. What are you going to do about them?  I can’t say, I have a dream and then… nothing. That I am not optimistic about. You want to write? Write something all the time or on a regular schedule (cough -hubs – cough). You want this promotion? Talk to people, get in touch with the right people, get your grind on.  You want that job? Clean up your resume, clean up your language (cough – bro – cough) and get your grind on. You want that body? Put down that late night snack (cough- Dee – cough), stick with the plan, don’t ignore the scale and wish for the best…
So, I bought a scale and got an accountability partner. She is my cousin and after chatting up with her last weekend when she came to visit, we decided that by my next visit to NJ, I had better lost 10 pounds. Challenge accepted! Are you with me? Any tips?
By the way, I did run/walk my first 5K under 45 mins. So proud. Next year, we run all the way!

Dear MIL…

I know I stole your son, your confident, you bodyguard and your precious baby. I know you think I’m not good enough for your precious. I know it’s rough to see that another woman actually make him smile and laugh. I know you hate the fact that he is living in another house and no longer needing your cooking. I know you hate the fact that he doesn’t ask you advice just like before and that he has to consult me before making any decision. I know that you think you have a say on how we raise our children or even how we feed them. I know you think if your method worked for your precious son it will work for his children. I know you think I have no idea what I’m doing….
Here’s the thing. I appreciate you and all that you do.I love your cooking. I love that you raise this wonderful man I call my husband. I also know that he’s not perfect. We’re just perfect together. I appreciate all your help but give me the liberty to pick between your method and my mom’s to come up with a good combination. After all, my mommy made the lady that was able to snag your son. I’m not trying to turn him against you. Who am I to come between you two? I just want to build a good foundation with him with no constant interference. Did your MIL treat you this way?
I hope you know that no matter what, I love you MIL.

Yours truly,
DIL

 

 

I hate budgets

I never wanted to be an accountant. Both my parents are and I used to tell them: “Well I’ll just borrow your books (huge library of accounting books!) if I want some insight.” The only thing I regret about this accounting neglect was the fact that I never learned to budget. And I would have never really learned about them if I didn’t get married. You see, I may not know certain things but I always managed to save and pay all my bills. I spend, pay bills and save the rest. That was usually my pattern. These things seemed to work for me but everything changed when I got married. And then I realized that the world of finances also plays a great role in a couple’s life. In fact, it is the leading cause of divorce. Huh? What? But we love each other! No sweety, that’s not enough. You mean to tell me that my mother has been praying for me to find a husband. When I get one, not only I have to worry about keeping him (I know many have heard the advices), I need to worry about not fighting about money. You’re joking right ? No honey. See now, it’s our money, our bills, our debt. What ? So even though, I don’t have student loans, I have to worry about his. That’s right! Give me a break. Oh honey, the for the better or worse clause had a lot of sub-clauses. I signed that contract ? You sure have… with many witnesses. This is bull! Well honey, you just need to learn to budget properly and things will be just fine. What word did you use? Budget. What the heck is that? Dave Ramsey will show you. Who is that? The guy that is going to get you out of debt, he’s a genius at this finance stuff and will get you and Pooh on this same page. Have you met Pooh? I don’t think he ever heard of the concept either and is having serious issues every time I say no to something he wants. If he loves you he will do it. It just takes patience. LOL.
Yes ladies and gentlemen, we need to get on a budget and stash some cash because this I-get-payed-and-I-don’t-know-where-my-paycheck-goes-after-bills-and-stuff syndrome is kicking our behinds and is not worth it. I already know what’s on my to-do list to teach my kids because this is ridiculous. And one more thing, people should attend some finance seminar of some sort. Not when you’re about to get married but waaaay before that. When you get your first job. When you are about to graduate. When you start dating, make it a fun activities. Because I find it hilarious that you are planning your wedding, and when you see your  priest and attend the couple’s retreat, that’s when they tell you all about the statistics and ask you about the way you manage money. I find that hilarious. Because, let’s be honest, if you had said no, what would have happen? Could you even have said no when you are on the i’m-in-love cloud and controlling the make-it-a-perfect-wedding stress ? What does this advice mean: “don’t ever fight about money, it will drive your marriage apart” ? People please. The best advice for me is: get to hustle because if you have been living on your own before you got married, you will not view money the same way at all. You need to sit down and work, work, work on it and finally come together. And if you love each other, you will make it.

Next Step… Moving in!

You piss me off. Every time, I see you, I have an issue. I contain myself and don’t say anything out of respect but I have a mental fight with you every time you come over. You’re abusive and disrespectful and you don’t even realize it. You are way too old now to not have realized that you have not grown up or learn any lesson. You come in any time of the day but it’s never to come say hi. No, you come when you’re hungry and your wife hasn’t cooked. You come when you need your computer fixed or to use the internet. You come when you don’t have the money to do laundry. You call when you need a ride or when you need a credit card to take care of something. What exactly do you do ? What exactly do you work on all day ? Why are you still married if you say she doesn’t respect you, feed you, help you out ? What exactly is marriage to you ? But you don’t piss me off as much as the people that encourage you. It’s like they don’t know how to say no to you. The excuse I hear is that at this point, at his age, he will never learn so might as well help him out. But when will anyone say no ? Did you know that your son couldn’t look me in the eye because he gave you his credit card because you couldn’t fix your car ? Babe, if I don’t help him, nobody will. Is that so ? Are you sure ? I would like for one of you to leave him hanging one day and see what happens. Just once….
Since we cover car, phone, laundry, I guess you’re just waiting for your invitation to move in.

Eat, Pray, Love

One of my resolutions for the new year was to read a book every month. I feel that as much as I love to read, I’ve been slacking mesmerized by my married life and my dedication to being a good wife. I’ve been slacking on the resolution but I am doing my best and by all means necessary, I finished one. Yeah me! It was a n audio book version of Eat, Pray, Love. For someone always in quest of spirituality, this was an awesome read. Or to be precise, an awesome listen. lol. The fact that the author was reading herself, I felt  submerged in this “diary”. At times, I felt the pain, the hunger, the hurt, the exhilaration, the desire, the delight, etc… This is not a book review by all means. There have been many who have done it already so there is no point. I just think this is a great book simply because everyone once  in a while if not often feels lost, questions their role in life, has been through break ups  with scars that take an usual time to heal…

But what made me happy the most was to find out that the author’s happy ending was in fact real. She did marry her love interest two years ago and they even set up a shop in NJ where they store all the items they collect through their travels. And that my friend is the biggest lesson that keeps coming back to me through different ways: the right person, companion can make all the difference. You just have to say yes and be open to it. It might look weird, unconventional, etc… Say yes. In summary, the book’s title says it all but it reminded me of other words:
Believe, Respect,Give Thanks

Haiti Chérie

That Tuesday night, I got to work and saw blasted on the big screen of the cafeteria the following headline: Earthquake 7.1 hits Haiti. Confusion, panic and sheer terror washed over me so fast that I stopped breathing.
I’m not going to dwell on this topic because it still hurts to write about it. Reliving my terror and my fears make me shake til this day. Let’s keep praying, donating and keep the faith alive. We can rebuild stronger.

Who loves you baby?

I love my Pooh. I love him so. Sometimes I wonder how this can be. Sometimes I wonder if I’m going to wake up from a dream. A beautiful joke that God is playing on me. This past week showed me that I am loved as well and that’s why I would do anything for this man.
Last week, Pooh and I had the BIG interview regarding my papers. I was home since saturday but did I check my list? No. I did that Monday afternoon around 6 o’clock. Guess what I forgot, on my dresser, in Jersey? My work permit card! Yes the idiot that I am saw the card and decided NOT to take it for reasons that still don’t make sense to my head. And guess what? It was a key component to my application. So I’m calling Pooh: “Listen babe, I’m going to drive down to NJ and go get this. I’ll be back in the morning to pick you up so you can go.” My theory? It’s my mistake, I’ll pay for the consequences. His theory: ” Babe, it’s our problem now. I am not going to sit home worried of what happens to you on the road by yourself. Just remember to keep your card with you at all times form now on ok?”
Ladies and gentlemen, this man drove with me (well Sis Pooh and her Hubby decided to join the fun ride) to NJ and back, got dressed and went on the interview with me (we were sleeping on the waiting room- but we made it!).

Sometimes I play poet

I was born without a sister

I grew up as one of the guys
And learned how to scream and shout
I grew up with a lot of girlfriends
Who deceived me with their lies
Sometimes I was happy
Sometimes I was sad
Sometimes I laughed
Sometimes I cried
You’ve seen me through it all
Whether near or far
You don’t know everything
But accept me with everything
You’re neither my cousin nor my friend
You are my sister
For whom my love will never end.

Welcome back!

I got back from Florida yesterday in the afternoon and went straight to class. Yes, I wanted to show my mug to my professors so they could be convinced that I’m not a slacker. I’ve been doing that a lot. I missed so many classes now it’s crazy. It’s ok. November is here I need to take the chill pill and get to it. And get fit while doing it!
First and foremost, here’s a recap of the trip to the sunshine (ahem – it rained almost everyday we were there) state:
– Mom loaded Pooh and I with so much stuff that we had pains all over our bodies when it was over.
– Mom is lucky Pooh was there, since all the luggages were overweight, I would have left s lot of stuff. He managed to change things around. Ah…. my baby the miracle worker!
– Did you know that most airlines charge now for checking luggages? A new era of traveling is starting!
– I almost died in the plane because of my cold. DO NOT I repeat DO NOT FLY WHEN YOU HAVE A COLD. The pressure on your brain and your sinuses is so intense, you would pass out if you could just so that you could stop the pain.
– Pooh couldn’t get us our rental easily since it was Freak Fest in Key West (no we didn’t go) and apparently everybody goes there. Again, he managed and made it happen.
– He got us the most AMAZING hotel room with a fabulous view. I’m still gaga over this and I still think he needs a reward.
– We spend some quality time with mom
– I saw my uncle while there and it’s a heartbreak. I keep remembering that life is short, you never know what can happen the next day. ENJOY EVERYDAY AND ALL ITS BLESSINGS BIG AND SMALL.
– We spent quality time with Pooh’s fam. The last time I was there, let’s just say I was a “friend.” It was a very different perspective this time around. And we announced the big day so everybody is getting ready.
– Pooh added to his number of groomsmen. (yes I wanted to kill him because I have to start matching up people)
– We spent some quality time with his brother who’s story deserve a whole post. But I won’t get into that.
– We didn’t spend that much on restaurants since everyone kind of fed us.
– My flight on the way back was canceled. I thought early flights never had that problem! Oh well, I got to spend more time with Pooh at the airport since they rescheduled me for a later flight ( at least that one was direct). Check out the fajitas at Chili’s! We were both full.

I think that covers everything. Questions? Comments? You know how to reach me 😉