Unemployment Sucks..

One of the reasons that are budget is so tight these days is because there was a job loss in my little unit since november. And let me say, it’s killing me. Oh yeah, it totally totally sucks. And please don’t start with the emergency fund, the 6 months just in case. Let me tell you something, I’ve heard it all and it sounds just like my mother’s advice. I don’t really listen until I am in a mess and I am reminded. If you ask any of my friends, I am very frugal (I’ve lived on college budget for so long), always on time and very bohemian (as in, I drove my little 1998 Toyota corolla until my brother totalled it) because flashy things don’t always appeal to me. Flash forward a couple more years, I’m married to the biggest spender (Sweet Charity anyone?), generous to a fault, live every day like is your last day, hunk of a man. And a couple more thousands dollars in debt, a couple more expensive item (including a house) later, here we are. Constant reminders to live on a tight budget, reminders that when the new job is found, the hole that we are in will need to be filled so that we can never be in this situation again. Did we have warnings? Absolutely. Did we listen? Nope. Are we going to be better? You better believe it because frustration cannot be a daily or healthy factor in any marriage.
On the other side of things, does that help with the diet? Oh yeah baby. Because we have no money, we have to do more cooking at home. We have to make sure we are packing lunches. And sometimes, sometimes, some mandatory liquid diets and fasting are in order. And sometimes, we just go forget this: buffet today! Regret tomorrow.
Finding the balance in this like my friends is crazy. Learning to listen and practice good advice is another. But this is part of our journey right? Some people know right away, some people take time, some people never learn… Which lot are you in?

Second Culture Mommy

I was not born in the US. I was born and raised in Haiti. I moved here officially eleven years ago and have established this country as my new home. This was never my intention. The original plan was to come, study, experience the country and go back to my Haiti where I would build a great career with my U.S. diploma. I have my network down there, my parents home and everything at my disposal. No brainer.
And then, while getting my master’s degree, I fell for the trap. I fell in love. Crazy, make your head spin and heart beat faster love. He was intelligent, good looks, great smile,… I can go on but you get the picture. Funny thing is he was Haitian too but has already been living here, had an established career and had no intention of going back our Motherland. So…I did what made most sense, I stayed here.
All of this background to get to today’s topic: Dual cultures, can that be past down? I’m curious because nowadays, having Minnie Me, I am full of questions about how to raise right, to be a good person, etc… But also, how to give her a Haitian and an American culture in a non-confusing manner. Fun story, she came home the other day and wanted to play. She held my hands and wanted to spin around and started to sing :”ring around the rosy…”. I’m like what the heck is that? And then the more I listened, the song sounded familiar but it was definitely something that I didn’t learn from my childhood. It was something from the children around here. That made me wonder. I am all about her leaning these songs and I will learned them so that I could play with her (I am that kind of mom). I wonder if I could show her the games that I’ve played, the songs that I’ve learned. I loved my little french and creole songs. I loved the fun games from my childhood and I still remember most of them. How do I implement that? How have parents done it before me? Did they not care? Or were they so preoccupied in learning a new culture themselves that they just encourage their children to learn to become somewhat of a guide in this new world? Ever wonder?

Challenge Accepted!

The problem that I have is the guilt that I get when I have to write. I take too long to post. Why am I writing this? Who’s going to read this? Who cares? I am by no means a writer. I know a couple so I should be able to recognize one when I see one. I’ve been trying this new technique where I change one habit or institute one habit to get started. Why not? It’s one thing. If I can do this one thing consistently then I’m sure to get at least certain results. So for this blog, I want to post once a week. That’s it. Every Thursday, just write. Maybe post some pictures. For now.  Just write every Thursday.

Day 23

Something you crave for a lot
Fresh bread. It is my downfall for all diets. When I used to visit family in the country in Haiti, there used to be a bakery nearby. Fresh baked bread in the morning (or any time of the day for that matter) with coffee is simply a perfect morning. You can tell if a restaurant cares about their food by the bread they serve, trust me.

Day 22

What makes you different from everyone else
I’m the only person I know in my age group that stitches for pure pleasure.

Day 21

A picture of something that makes you happy
I don’t have a picture unfortunately but my desk makes me happy. It has very distinctive components that make me happy. Actually, there is a card that hubby gave me at Christmas that I read back from time to time to lift my spirits. It reminds me that I am loved no matter what happens.
The card reads:
For My love at Christmas and Always
My love, you are the center of my life, the dearest friend and lover there could be. When all the world is crazy and confusing, you are my calm and my security. I look into your eyes and find my soul mate. I hear your voice and never feel alone. Beside you, I believe in love unending and feel the deepest joy I’ve ever known.
Merry Christmas
and then he added:
I picked the pretty card babe!!!
Every for my wife card I found, they always have one thing in common, this why I’m not giving you one. The message always have “Although things are not always perfect, we have a commitment.” I felt that things are always better than I thought, so I can’t complain. I love you more than I ever did and will continue to do so. You are everything I need and everything I want. I believe this cards tells the rest.

Day 20

Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future

Took care of that about a couple of years ago. lol. Please refer the family picture from a previous post. I can’t see myself with anyone else…

Day 19

Nicknames you have; why do you have them

Dee – I got tired of people mispronouncing my name and it was the easiest name pronounced in the English language

Déo – That was my nickname for the longest specially in high school and in Haiti. It’s a cute short version of my name. The accent makes all the difference. Of course, that’s how my parents call me specially it sounds like my dad’s nickname:Théodore – Théo. Hubby calls me that from time to time specially when he talks to my parents because I’m not sure they totally get the Dee. FYI: In Latin, it means God (without the accent).

DeeDee – This is the name the kiddies use. Hubby started that nickname to introduce me to my stepson. He associated our names as such Daddy and DeeDee. And from then on, all the kids call me that.

Babe/Honey/Bébé – I respond to all these names when the hubby calls.

Day 18

Plans/dreams/goals you have

– Have our own place
I don’t care if it’s a small place but a place that we can call our own. Don’t get me wrong, I am blessed for what we have and grateful to have it but… I know it would be nice to be in a place we decorated, we worked to get, we have our friends come over. Also where our children can have their own room.

– Give birth naturally and in January
If I hear one more person tell me December, I will hurt them. I just want everything to go well and that she is healthy. My cousin told me to ask God for an obedient child, so I’ll add this to my list as well.

– Travel
There so much more places  I want to see in the world. So many more dishes to taste… One of my biggest dream is to get to see at least each continent. So far, according to this perspective, I’ve only done two…

– Get a nicer salary
Money can’t buy you happiness but money can help you get the things to make you happy.

– Help hubby find his path
He has so much potential and so much knowledge in that big head. I’m not sure where to push him and who he should meet to get him going towards something greater. At least he started blogging to put some ideas down… I should really pray on this and get moving

Day 17

Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

I would  trade lives for one day with…. Lisa VanderPump. I have been obsessed with the Real Housewives lately. Bravo is a fabulous channel.
So why? Change skin color, get a British accent and have more money than I know what to with. Of course, be a good mother and be secure about the woman that I am and know where I am going. Let’s not forget the cutest puppy I’ve ever seen.