Second Culture Mommy

I was not born in the US. I was born and raised in Haiti. I moved here officially eleven years ago and have established this country as my new home. This was never my intention. The original plan was to come, study, experience the country and go back to my Haiti where I would build a great career with my U.S. diploma. I have my network down there, my parents home and everything at my disposal. No brainer.
And then, while getting my master’s degree, I fell for the trap. I fell in love. Crazy, make your head spin and heart beat faster love. He was intelligent, good looks, great smile,… I can go on but you get the picture. Funny thing is he was Haitian too but has already been living here, had an established career and had no intention of going back our Motherland. So…I did what made most sense, I stayed here.
All of this background to get to today’s topic: Dual cultures, can that be past down? I’m curious because nowadays, having Minnie Me, I am full of questions about how to raise right, to be a good person, etc… But also, how to give her a Haitian and an American culture in a non-confusing manner. Fun story, she came home the other day and wanted to play. She held my hands and wanted to spin around and started to sing :”ring around the rosy…”. I’m like what the heck is that? And then the more I listened, the song sounded familiar but it was definitely something that I didn’t learn from my childhood. It was something from the children around here. That made me wonder. I am all about her leaning these songs and I will learned them so that I could play with her (I am that kind of mom). I wonder if I could show her the games that I’ve played, the songs that I’ve learned. I loved my little french and creole songs. I loved the fun games from my childhood and I still remember most of them. How do I implement that? How have parents done it before me? Did they not care? Or were they so preoccupied in learning a new culture themselves that they just encourage their children to learn to become somewhat of a guide in this new world? Ever wonder?

Sometimes… I miss the games

Sometimes, when I have some time to think and reflect, I miss the games. No matter what ones says, you see, in love, the most important part is the chase. Men love the chase and women like me remember the chase very well. Don’t get confused, I am happy and lucky to have found my Pooh and wouldn’t trade him for anyone in this whole world. But days like this where I have some time on my hands, I start thinking and reflecting. I start playing old songs from the 90’s ( lol) and I take a walk down memory lane….
I start remembering when I was 14 and couldn’t wait to be 17.  When I was in a great relationship with the sweetest guy on the planet and somehow, as we grew older, I knew he wasn’t the one and I couldn’t figure out why he wasn’t. He was perfect on paper but… the chemistry was gone. How I was not ready to settle down and I wanted to “chase” or to be “chased.” Edz told me one day, she was afraid that there would be no more first. No more first kisses, no more dates, no more first impressions,etc… I thought about this for a while and shrugged it out. And again during days like today, I would think about these firsts.
The first time a guy bought you a drink and you felt you were the s$@t
The first time you learned you actually had some powers as a woman
The first time you realized you could distinguish between good and bad kissers
The first time you got excited when you weren’t sure if he was going to call you or not
The first time you heard his voice over the phone and said to yourself : ” I could talk to sexy all night ” … and you did

The first time you discovered the word sexy and realized it could mean so many thing
The first time you understood that men would do just about anything to get in your pants but seem to lack that same passion when they did get it
……….
So many things ramble through my head and this could turn into a very long post. I have to say I even miss the games Pooh played with me. How he remembered my drink the very first time we went out so that he could impress me. The way he flew me across the US so I could cheer him up. The way I imagined kissing him and resisting the urge when I finally saw him after months of meeting for the first time. I miss the game where you ignore a guy and that’s when he tries his best to get back into your good graces. Yes, I miss the chase…